I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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