i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
