Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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