? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
