dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
