so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
the condom got lost in my hair
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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