dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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