Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
