scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
