So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
