dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Randomize
