apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
