I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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