After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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