what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
