i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
