I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
where am i from again
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
