i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
