So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
