the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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