I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
