Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Randomize
