bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Randomize
