thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
