i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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