She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
