I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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