He uses pillows to masturbate.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
