A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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