ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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