I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Randomize
