i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
