She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
