it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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