Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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