last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
