do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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