Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
