I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
