she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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