Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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