I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Ladies don't puke and tell
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
