I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I have fence marks all over my body
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
