and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
