theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
