so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
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