I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
