No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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