Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
