I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
