member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
