Farmville is her only friend.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
